last week on the island

I just realised that the next time I'm back for more than a month, may not be as soon as I'd like. And I'm counting in years here. This makes me sad. I hate goodbyes. I think maybe I'm getting soft. So much for never cracking under pressure and never crying at sad movies. Ah, age has caused the follies of youth to disappear. (Ok, I know, exaggeration here)

But it just sucks that I want to be in 2 places as badly as I do. I wouldn't have chosen otherwise though, so I guess, there's nothing to regret, just lots to miss.

Didn't spend enough time with the people who really matter.

I guess this is it, I'll see you when I do see you. And for those I don't see, you know that I'm going to be right here, trying to be good, or at least the best I know how.

wanderlust and wardrobe dysfunction

FEEDING FRENZY! Food has never tasted quite this satisfying. You know, it's got nothing to do with having REALLY good food everyday, but it's just comfortable food. Not comfort-ing food, but comfortable food. I don't have to really think about what I want to eat, and it's all good at almost any hawker centre. Awesome stuff.

All the same, I want to get out of here to see something else. I can't seem to stay in a place long enough to know it. I'm still a tourist here. And home changes its identity every few months. Confusing. haha. It's a little sad that I'm finally comfy enough to sit back, relax and recognise home for what it is.. that i have to psyche myself up to leave again. Funny, I thought that it'd get easier with the passing of years, but I miss things more now than I used to, when I first set off. It seems contradictory, this wanderlust and the need to feel at home somewhere, anywhere. No explanations in sight. Don't think I can put it into words, it's something unexplainable that I can't quite put my finger on. Not at all surprising to me, I don't think I've been able to articulate my emotions inside since, well, ever. I'm a caveman, really.

Well, I can look forward to feeling alright with my drawers bursting with nothing but tee shirts and jeans again. For some reason, I always feel pressured to not ALWAYS wear that here. Must be my fashionista friends. Or maybe it's an outwelling of the fashionista inside of me! (ha. ha.) Back to school back to school...

I'll do what I always do. Ignore it all the way, and then get swept up in the activity so I don't have quite enough time to process anything. And that keeps me pretty happy. There's the secret folks, that's how I deal. No biggie. Cos it all works out somehow, and I never have to think till maybe it's too late for thinking.

Whee. Hmm. This is kinda emo without meaning to be. Strange.

Goes to visit his mommy
She feeds him well his concerns
He forgets them
And remembers being small
Playing under the table and dreaming
- Ants Marching Dave Matthews