ZOOOOOM

i wrote this in my journal a few days ago. and it comes with a little drawing that perhaps i shall scan in another time. here goes:

you know what? i REFUSE to lose my sense of adventure. that's sort of what this is, right? A big adventure, destination unknown. i am a spaceship pilot setting off for uncharted territories. it's a big mission, but i've got everything i need to pull it off.

haha. that's it. the rest of it gets less interesting and bloggable. my brother told a friend that i'm the least stressed out unemployed person he knows. in my head i was like.. WHAT??? how do you get to say that! you're not even home to see me apply for stuff. haha. but well, i accept that i do seem that way. heh.

alright, i'm off to the races. (like for real. f1 is so cool i remember why i wanted to be a f1 driver when i was 5)

finding home.

home is a 4-letter word. i left it somewhere.

and now i'm in a place that's so familiar, and actually honestly, easier to be in. but of course, there's something.. off.

don't get me wrong, i'm happy. i'm always pretty happy and at ease, yeah? and the job search is going! the wheels are grinding, and i'm moving with the world. i don't exactly know where i'm moving to per se. but things get done. days pass. slower, and hotter than they did before, but i have tonnes to do all the time, which helps me not be restless (a good thing).

i continue to befuddle myself with difficult questions like.. 'what do i really want to do?', or 'how does one search for a passion?', or more recently, 'What is the one question to ask to find out if someone is close to their parent(s)?' and sometimes there aren't answers. i came up with an answer to the latter, but who knows with the first two? It's all a great, big mystery. and i don't have time to be sad about not knowing. all i have are my two typing hands (for all online applications) and some brain cells to figure out where to go from here - where to go look for 'how'. (see how la!)

right now.. i'm fed. and pretty happy. food (can be) so good and cheap here. i got a plate of rice with 3 dishes (stewed vegetables, chillied long beans, and pork with scallions) for S$2.50. i heart food places in Singapore. next up for my day.. get down to business i suppose. maybe a nap. we'll see how. haha.

cheerio.

'cos I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again...

so I'm skedaddling out of here. going to miss the place that I've called home for the last 4 years. and while I'm back 'home' rediscovering it's sweetness, I will no doubt think about College Hill, Thayer and the little nooks and crannies that I've come to love about this place. I shan't name them all, and I'm not a sentimental person, so it doesn't bother me as much I suppose. The place, after all, is just a place.

What I shall miss dearly are its inhabitants. The people I have come to call my friends and family, the ones I leave behind... the ones who are plotting, even now, how to make me stay. The ones who made Providence home. Thayer is magical because of you! (I mean, honestly, it's not much to look at or gawk over on it's on, you know? haha.) And playgrounds will never be the same again.. (I'm too old for them now. bah.) There are no blueberries to pick in Singapore. My mom thinks my guitar playing is noisy. (which means, of course, that you guys were just too polite to complain.) Who knows when we'll meet again, guys. But to the end of my 1460 days of awesomeness that we shared, where you had to put up with my nonsense.. cheers.

have a good one.