you can't fight the tears that ain't coming.

Manic weeks and holiday nostalgia

2011-11-17T01:05:00.001-05:00

Last week seems like a year ago! MAD.

So I was in Bali last week for my (seemingly now) annual holiday with a hippo friend. Yes. A hippo friend. 'twas awesome of course. Whale of a time, even though it was raining cars and dogs for half of it. But instead of getting down about it, we crept into the most heavenly of beds and zzed the rain away. :)

Anyhoo. Now that i'm back, have spent this week running around and rushing for all sorts of stuff. Mainly this event that's happening today. We've finished an entire morning of talks (and I got up at 6am oog) and now heading for excursion. Hee learning journey!

But you know what, I shall enjoy my lone-ness at this seat for now before I have to be sociable again. And catch some shut eye. And. Dream of last week. Just a week ago. Love.

Weekend getaway.

2011-10-15T22:12:00.001-04:00

It's only 3.5 hours outside Singapore, but it could be years ago. All the small shophouses and night market stalls and the buzz in Melaka is refreshing. It feels familiar... But it's not. At least, not in my recent memories. There are remnants in my little city, but slowly disappearing.

Anyway it was good to get away w my work buddies and not have to think about work. I'll be having a nice dose of southeast Asia for the rest of this year. After this trip... Penang for official team building trip! Then Bali w Wei. Hmm, where should I go with my parents (need to use my elder care leave). Or I could just nua at home. Hee.

Ok enjoying my last couple of hours here. :)

And I set fire to the rain

2011-10-10T10:47:00.001-04:00

Today, big boss said: 'someone important died last week'. To which, half of us went '...who?'

I guess this is part of him trying to take people's feedback seriously and share more, communicate more. He said that if you didn't have much time left, how would you change the way you live your life? This probably made him think about his own battle w cancer years ago.

Someone remarked later that another (disliked) person should have a near-death experience so he would 'wake up his ideas' and not be so arrogant. While not for wishing ill of others, perhaps we all should do a bit of reevaluating.

At church these 2 months, couples have been taking turns to chair the worship segment. The theme is trust, and we've heard many difficult stories shared as though in a small group of friends, when in reality it's vulnerability to hundreds of people. A few have talked about having special needs kids. Watching with difficulty as their kids battle on. Seizures, medication, painfully slow progress. But even if their eyes are filled with tears and can only see the present, their eyes of faith seek out God every step of the way. And they see Him clearly at the end of the road. If only every vision was so clear.

Looking at these people, ordinary people with lives that have been made extraordinary... They have stories to tell. Their lives a novel worth more than a quick browse at the bookstore. What's my story? More whinging. More mediocrity. Like a bad self help book. Without the help. Just self. There's more to this and I kind of want to get there.

I don't know if we all need a near death experience. Maybe we just need a little knock on the head.

Here's to a knock. See you on the other side.

Mobile blogging

2011-09-18T08:13:00.001-04:00

Hmm. How do I feel about this? Now I get to rant about things in my day as and when they happen. When there are too many words to fit inside a tweet.

Curious. This social media thing. Perhaps it will end in me never talking to people again. That sometimes feels like it would be nice. But thankfully, only sometimes.

Anyhoo. Things are happening. And decisions are needing to be made. Sigh. Wishing you don't have to grow up doesn't seem to work... Seeing how I've been wishing for that for several years now.

summertime, not exactly.

2011-06-19T10:38:00.006-04:00

15 minutes of work can really seem like SUCH a drag when you're desperately trying to hold on to the last few moments of your weekend. haha :) so.. in view of procrastination.. to the interwebs. for waste-time-tactics.

i was on holiday down under recently. and it was a BALLER time with the Tan ladies. haha. relatives on the broader geographical scale (somewhere along the line i'm sure) and of course, friends. i know someone will hate me but i took a photo of the pair. and had to share. i will try... to blog more, and get it pushed to further down the page somewhere. cheers.

but here's to awesome holidays, and wonderfully lazy days!

of old photos and squash games.

2011-06-15T10:33:00.006-04:00

the interwebs has everything on it. great for inept people. insta-feelings.

make a joyful noise!

2010-10-03T07:53:00.002-04:00

Singing. You know, I've been singing since I was probably around 5. In church, in the beginners' sunday school! I'm sure it must have been quite cute, judging from the little kids we have in church singing today. it's been almost 20 years. What do I sing for, why do I sing?

An old hymn goes: I sing because I'm happy, I sing because I'm free, for His eye is on the sparrow, and I know He watches me.

Yesterday we were asked if we were living our lives as we are called to, not just called in a lofty sense of becoming a pastor or anything. But the fact that we are called to salvation, sanctification and service. Different people, same calling, resulting in us living all for a purpose. That God is guiding us to and through. Back to the question now, I sing because God has invited me to, and He's given me joy to do so for Him.

I don't like being in the limelight, I fear many eyes on me. I'm afraid of what will they think, what will they say. I really don't like it. But I've been on stage for 20 years now, singing for God. And funnily enough, I don't notice it. I love singing for Him. I never feel the same joy and same ease, singing for anything else (which I enjoy too, mostly in my own room, to myself. haha.). So, I want to live out the call. I will sing and make a joyful noise to my Lord and God, till the day I can't anymore.

Btdubs, friends who recognise the singing bunny, don't tell others where he's from. haha.

who says i can't get stoned

2010-08-20T14:07:00.002-04:00

random post.

today was a candid day.

people don't know what to say. and then no one says anything. it's great. i think it's quite amazing. how when at the end of the day you don't care what people think anymore, nothing much matters. you're stuck with me, i'm stuck with you, so we deal in our own special way.

wemmicks friends, wemmicks!

hahaha. perhaps i try to convince myself. i think one day it'll work.

it's a little late. i think is z time.

welcome to the family.

2010-07-31T02:38:00.004-04:00

I need a name.

closer to fine.

2010-05-11T08:15:00.003-04:00

you know the funniest thing? After you weren't here anymore, I switched on the radio to drive us home. and 'Don't Worry, Be Happy" came on. AND the DJ after that talked about constipation. I think it was apt. See ya around, puppy.

it's not always rainbows and butterflies...

2010-05-09T11:26:00.002-04:00

I hope that my dog dies tonight. In fact, every night I sort of wish that. Maybe I'm not wishing hard enough. cos she's not dying. but she gets closer, everyday. I can see it. And it's worse than waking up to her getting skinnier day by day. cos I know, I haven't loved her well enough. I haven't been around these past 4 years. I never saw her suddenly get old. I missed it all.

And now she's dying. And I'm scared that I will have to cab home one of these lunch breaks, and go to the vet, and put her to sleep. Soon I will. If she doesn't beat me to it, which I hope she does..

Thanks for being my friend. Goodnight, hope it's also goodbye.

but what of the wretched hollow.

2010-04-28T06:11:00.002-04:00

so. the world just keeps on spinning. days sort of blend together, I'm studying hard and I think getting somewhere. I think I'll be able to face the exam having tried, at least. Cos the mantra is always, try your best. when i study like this, the last place i want to be is in the office. or at a client engagement course (which I'm at for the rest of the week). Cos my mind... it cant focus on so many things! If it wants to study, it wants to study and do the best darn job at studying... and not have to worry about working. And well, if it wants to work, then.. it doesn't want to study. because, well work can take up almost all the time i have.

plus it just feels wrong to study without a wall of windows and nothing but sky outside beckoning you to come play. some days i miss it.

so this is what it's like. to 'settle' into the pace of work. I am getting pastier and pastier everyday. and i can feel myself getting boring. HA. like it's the extra weight that you put on.. i'm getting heavier. w boringness. Not that I try hard not to be... it's just easier to be boring. You know how as a kid you don't understand why people get old and get unfun? I know now how one gets unfun. you dont have time or the energy to be fun. to find the fun. this is sad. because also, there's almost no one to blame.

maybe i'll be less boring after my exam.

I'm very excited about the end of June and going to new places and humptydumpty plopping in Singaland! I just wish I could take leave off life. and just... concentrate on playing for a little bit. Which I am doing. hur. I just want to not have to think about other things. Just one thing at a time please!

HOKAY. whinefest is over. Please return to your seats for the second half of the show. It promises to wow the audience with sensational showmanship. It WILL be, above all, a fun show. Promise. Ooh, time is going to pass so quick, I'd better start getting ready for the fun. :D

toothpaste tubes squeezed out love.

what kind of name is antebellum?

2010-04-08T12:19:00.004-04:00

Yesterday as I was swimming I gave myself a pep talk abt buckling down to study (AUP). Cos it's getting to that almost last resort stage where... I really won't finish. So I picked up from where I left off... and as I sat there, book on table, earphones in, concentrating hard.. my mind wandered to a land far far away. I thought of the quiet green.

It's April now and the flowers must be blooming and spreading their pollen in places they shouldn't be. And sometimes, just sometimes... the world seems way too big.

There are strange pictures of a girl who looks like me on fb. It's strange. an out of body experience. Although I'm very sure if I was born way back then.. I probably wouldn't look like that. Same heart though.

I'm so tired. goodnight, world. good morning, world.

sliding doors.

2010-04-05T13:04:00.002-04:00

Got the list of Brownies accepted today, and none of the ones I interviewed were on the list. Hope they had other places to go, other people to see. When I interviewed them, I thought, not bad. (some, not all) haha. Don't think I was any different from them when I interviewed. Probably had thoughts that were even more scattered. Totally no idea what to do with my life. (not that I do now. but still.)

If i didn't get there... wonder where I'd be, who I'd be. Funny to imagine. No regrets, I'm sure if I went elsewhere I'd have no regrets either.. I'd probably have had a blast too. Just, different. This post is a little random. But I'm a tad awake, so I thought, might as well pop a note by here.

fail week.

2010-01-23T07:02:00.008-05:00

i'm not a careful person. i've always been careless. with math sums in school, with writing papers, with my words sometimes i know. i think, this might be my undoing. how does one 'learn' to be more careful and attentive to details? i don't like thinking about details.. i don't need details and i just want the gist of things.

i need to be careful in my job. when i write reports and presentations and stuff. and i'm not. oops. hur. new week, new drive, new everything. i get to start again. and.. perhaps this week i shan't keep messing up. maybe this week i'll work faster and better. maybe this week, i will discover something i'm good at.

today though, while contemplating posting something after a while, (oh, happy new year by the way, everyone.) i browsed through the archives. i like doing that. cos i forget stuff alot too. what it was like, how i was, marveling at the number of entries from 5 in the morning... :) anyway, i always find myself, reminded here on my own blog, while writing outside this blog, while thinking, while... thankful. that i'm ok.

thinking about the six months of nothing much.. reminds me how good God is. and then, i'm happy again. or at least, not as bogged down. i've got a bunch of verses on my desk.. that remind me.
'But You, O Lord, are a shield for me,
My glory, and the One who lifts up my head.' ps 3:3

i sat at my computer on friday.. and while my report was being torn apart (not literally ala primary school scary teacher style) for not being quite up to standard, i thought... 'chin up, you know it's learning time. and technically, you did ask for a a challenge.' haha.

but after fail week, i am ready to rest, recharge and do my v best (again) this week. :) i mean, He's there. and that's.. really kind of all i need.

mirror properties.

2009-12-27T06:22:00.004-05:00

This week has been fun! I got to forget (conveniently) that I work now. Plus, learn how to enjoy a warm Christmas again. Fuzzy feelings all around!

2009 is coming to an end. As I sat this morning in church, I thought about how quick the year has zoomed by. Last year seems like.. ages ago. Last Christmas.. I gave you my heart. Actually, I hung out in Mexico. With the 'rents. And the bean went to France after Christmas and and and.. I was still in school. With everyone. And then! I finished school, and wrote this really boring paper so I could graduate and then I had a v pompous graduation! And I had fun in between too. Some days I play Bon Jovi's Livin' on a Prayer and remember singing my heart out on the dance floor. and screaming. haha. At least I remember it. And then. There were nasty applications and doldrums and the butcher and the moving. That was unhappy. But then.. it turned out good! Sorta. I like writing to friends and knowing that I have friends on the other side of the planet who love me! It's a pity the world wasn't smaller, but it's ok I think. And I have new friends too. And well, a job too. That helps the content-ometer some. (it's been good, if you're wondering. it will get busy. and some stuff is hard, but so far it's exciting. my colleagues don't believe me when I give these somewhat-PC non-extreme comments about my work. But then, they don't know that.. that's kind of what I'm like.) I haven't forgotten Providence. I remember Ade's amaze/amusement about the name of the city. Cos it's really God's providence. That brought me there. And that has brought me home. And teaches me that... well, He's got this great global ops. And also that He loves me and will never leave me. It's the kind of promise that feels like a nice thick blanket that you can curl up and fall asleep in every night, no matter where in you are.

Anyhoo. I crown 2009 the Best Worst Year Ever. I doubt I'll forget it anytime soon. See you guys on the other side. Happy New Year. Pots of cheng tng and love.

jesus loves the little children...

2009-12-23T10:46:00.002-05:00

but i don't.

i've never found a way to express my dislike for children. granted some are cute, and i will one day play with my brother's kids. but i think today i can articulate the reason why i will never have kids. they make me angry. and not many things make me angry.

i feel terrible about saying this. because.. it makes me seem like a bad person. (well, that's true too. God and i, we're working on that.) but i sat next to a badly behaving boy and his mom today, and my blood was boiling. and if it didn't prick my conscience the way it did and there were no social norms and there were no consequences and children were more like bugs than people, i would have grabbed the kid and.. i dont know. at least smacked him. for being rude and disobedient and really irritating.

getting angry is such a waste of good emotions. of course by now i've forgotten the anger and it sounds a little silly. but i thought i'd write it out before i forgot why i don't like kids again.

pray

2009-11-27T10:36:00.002-05:00

because sometimes there are no words.

had a feeling I could be someone...

2009-11-20T12:15:00.002-05:00

Some songs are just so sad. The ones that have a somewhat happy, catchy tune to them are the worst.

Thought I'd figure out the timing to the song, since it's tricky to sing and maintain the rhythm. But after going through it about three times.. it made me sad. Oh well. those are the best kinds of songs I suppose. If they can make me feel.

There are apparently 2 ways people use music. One to reflect their mood, e.g. if you're happy and you know it.. play Unbelievable. The other to change their mood. e.g. you play Single Ladies when you get dumped. It's no wonder I have a large range of music.. but miss out the metal and angry-rap. Hmm. Can you say something is conspicuously missing? If it's missing can it be conspicuous? If it's conspicuous, can it be missing?

Ok sleep time. As sleep washes over me, tomorrow I shall wake up to... What a Wonderful World.

dream explosion.

2009-11-16T10:25:00.002-05:00

The flurry of activity dies down. I don't know if I'd call it a flurry, or.. something more like a chicken running around without its head. Anyway. chicken is dead. I'm alive. While admitting to the fact that, unfortunately, I will be selling out and closing more doors than I will be opening. I peeked long and hard into some rooms, but maybe I'll find another way back some other time.

I suppose you just can't please some people. Can't juggle them dreams when you're not used to having.

But zooming out from all the details for a second, I get to do a little jig. For come mid-December, I will be gainfully employed. So ends the almost-six-month saga. Give thanks.

Now to work ass off and learn as fast as I possibly can. Zoomzoomzoom. BEEPBEEP.

what an affair.

2009-11-02T09:42:00.004-05:00

It's awkward when you dream of someone in a quite the ridiculous situation, then you see/talk to the person the day after.. and you can't quite stop the mental giggling that juxtaposes the reality with the dream. The grin seems to want to spread, but since no one but you knows what's the big joke, it stays inside. Much like the rest of your strange thoughts. Oh well.

Crazy hell week has passed, and I'm wondering if anything will come out of it. This week is lots more relaxing. But then up bubbles this darn feelings that ack! i'm not doing enough. But perhaps, it's time to be responsible and actually do some work at the place i'm officially working. haha. Instead of dribs and drabs of work.

I wrote this some days ago. but never posted. so i shall post it. as a random blah post. there are other things to say. which will be said. soon.

just for now.

2009-10-10T11:23:00.006-04:00

Some days, I feel like this. Well. Many days I feel like this. But there are fun days too. Play time is fun. And I know that I once I am gainfully employed (read: worked to the bone) I will long for these months of.. footloose-fancy-free-ness.

Meanwhile, I keep chugging along. And hold close little events that make me feel like I'm actually home. Like.. going on long walks just.. cos. to explore. i went exploring at mount sophia..

ended up here! and dumdeedummed around it.

and went to a photo exhibition and walked and walked and walked. and went to play guitars and drink soyabean/chinchow and talk and shop (briefly, for a mic) and.. then suddenly it was night time.

we heart friends. other friends, please come and play soon. before life catches up to us.

goodnight, from singapore. with love.

ZOOOOOM

2009-09-27T05:05:00.002-04:00

i wrote this in my journal a few days ago. and it comes with a little drawing that perhaps i shall scan in another time. here goes:

you know what? i REFUSE to lose my sense of adventure. that's sort of what this is, right? A big adventure, destination unknown. i am a spaceship pilot setting off for uncharted territories. it's a big mission, but i've got everything i need to pull it off.

haha. that's it. the rest of it gets less interesting and bloggable. my brother told a friend that i'm the least stressed out unemployed person he knows. in my head i was like.. WHAT??? how do you get to say that! you're not even home to see me apply for stuff. haha. but well, i accept that i do seem that way. heh.

alright, i'm off to the races. (like for real. f1 is so cool i remember why i wanted to be a f1 driver when i was 5)

finding home.

2009-09-17T03:38:00.003-04:00

home is a 4-letter word. i left it somewhere.

and now i'm in a place that's so familiar, and actually honestly, easier to be in. but of course, there's something.. off.

don't get me wrong, i'm happy. i'm always pretty happy and at ease, yeah? and the job search is going! the wheels are grinding, and i'm moving with the world. i don't exactly know where i'm moving to per se. but things get done. days pass. slower, and hotter than they did before, but i have tonnes to do all the time, which helps me not be restless (a good thing).

i continue to befuddle myself with difficult questions like.. 'what do i really want to do?', or 'how does one search for a passion?', or more recently, 'What is the one question to ask to find out if someone is close to their parent(s)?' and sometimes there aren't answers. i came up with an answer to the latter, but who knows with the first two? It's all a great, big mystery. and i don't have time to be sad about not knowing. all i have are my two typing hands (for all online applications) and some brain cells to figure out where to go from here - where to go look for 'how'. (see how la!)

right now.. i'm fed. and pretty happy. food (can be) so good and cheap here. i got a plate of rice with 3 dishes (stewed vegetables, chillied long beans, and pork with scallions) for S$2.50. i heart food places in Singapore. next up for my day.. get down to business i suppose. maybe a nap. we'll see how. haha.

cheerio.

'cos I'm leaving on a jet plane, don't know when I'll be back again...

2009-09-04T09:10:00.004-04:00

so I'm skedaddling out of here. going to miss the place that I've called home for the last 4 years. and while I'm back 'home' rediscovering it's sweetness, I will no doubt think about College Hill, Thayer and the little nooks and crannies that I've come to love about this place. I shan't name them all, and I'm not a sentimental person, so it doesn't bother me as much I suppose. The place, after all, is just a place.

What I shall miss dearly are its inhabitants. The people I have come to call my friends and family, the ones I leave behind... the ones who are plotting, even now, how to make me stay. The ones who made Providence home. Thayer is magical because of you! (I mean, honestly, it's not much to look at or gawk over on it's on, you know? haha.) And playgrounds will never be the same again.. (I'm too old for them now. bah.) There are no blueberries to pick in Singapore. My mom thinks my guitar playing is noisy. (which means, of course, that you guys were just too polite to complain.) Who knows when we'll meet again, guys. But to the end of my 1460 days of awesomeness that we shared, where you had to put up with my nonsense.. cheers.

have a good one.

playing the waiting game.

2009-08-22T11:17:00.002-04:00

Whate'er my God ordains is right,
Holy His will abideth.
I will be still whate'er He does,
And follow where He guideth.
He is my God, though dark my road.
He holds me that I shall not fall,
Wherefore to Him I leave it all.

I'm still here. Still waiting. Waiting is all I do nowadays. I thought of Hugh Grant's character, Will, in 'About a Boy' yesterday while I was writing (somewhere else)..

'I find the key is to think of a day as units of time, each unit consisting of no more than thirty minutes. Full hours can be a little bit intimidating and most activities take about half an hour. Taking a bath: one unit, watching countdown: one unit, web-based research: two units, exercising: three units, having my hair carefully disheveled: four units. It's amazing how the day fills up, and I often wonder, to be absolutely honest, if I'd ever have time for a job; how do people cram them in?'

And that's what I did. Went for a bike ride: one unit, oiled and cleaned said bike: one unit, showered and checked email and ate breakfast: 2 units, think of what to do with blueberries that I picked the day before: 1 unit... etc. I also did other things. but honestly, putting together a list of things I take units to do probably takes about a unit too. and it's too much work. :)

Now I'm going to have blueberry pancakes as my slave toils away in the kitchen to make them for me. yum. Ok I should go help. cheerio everyone.

you've got a fast car, is it fast enough so we can fly away?

2009-08-08T23:34:00.003-04:00

So in a surprising turn of events, I am left clinging on to the US by a strand. I have an interview on Tuesday. After wrestling so long back and forth about what I want and where God is calling me, and what difficult directions friends and family and pushing and pulling me in... I don't know how I feel about it. It's not the dream job, and I don't even know if I fit well into it. But I got to go into that interview wanting it. (besides, anyone who knows me knows that I have no dream job. because I have no dreams. I don't think being a rock star counts... because there are dreams and then there are dreams.)

Where do you go, what do you think, when everything just seems like... rojak?

Confusion is nothing new. So I guess I'm left here.. waiting for ma laundry, wanting to sleep. trying to read white papers but really not getting a hold of anything. Did I mention that I had a kickass day? The Newport Jazz Festival was the bomb. and everyone was so amazing. Hiromi = awesome. just sayin. Watching her makes me feel like laughing and crying all at once. Also 23-going-on-24 year old Esperanza Spalding (who btdubs became a professor at Berklee at 20) was so cool. Plus the old school jazz band Branford Marsalis quartet. Makes for a wonderful day of fun- (and sun-) filled entertainment. And I love fun in the sun. Especially after working an almost 40-hour work week at the butcher shop (which I am officially done with too). If I was a smidgen talented, I'd do the whole starving artist thing. Aye. Instead I'm going to go look at pharmaceutical numbers now.

Hey, but a plan for my career and life is forming. Slowly. Let's see what idea incubation and forced dreaming begets.

i still haven't found what i'm looking for...

2009-07-31T10:59:00.002-04:00

it pains me a little (see: a decent amount) that i will likely not be able to see U2 in concert. though i have a ticket. or that i won't get to have my own car and take random day trips. or that i won't have my own place. or get to scrounge around for cheap furniture.

it's the little things. the weird little bits that in the larger scheme of things are rather, well, inconsequential.

i also can't wait till i next sink my teeth into a nice fat chili crab. or have my own bathroom. or see my dogs.

it's still the weird little things.

and the in between is even weirder. but hey transitions are supposed to be. and i'm starting to think that this long drawn out transition is the best worst thing that's ever happened to me.

weather report: groggy, with scattered resilience

2009-07-14T22:46:00.003-04:00

see you soon, my unexpected friend. what a blast, huh. i now sit alone on this futon. you know, it's really really quiet without the lawn mower noises. it's 11pm and I'm ready for bed. I might actually go to the far away place.

In other news, I just came back from a whirlwind weekend in nyc. Lots of meeting friends and making new friends. I had a wonderful time and it was totally worth the money. One less thing to regret now. (in case I don't make it back to hang out with a bunch of friends doing almost nothing of practical use in nyc for awhile.) So things are still up in the air. I'm still working my butt off (literally) in retail and looking for something a little more cushy, a little more money, and a little more certainty. I've realised recently that pretty much everything that I've wanted in life, if I tried hard enough.. or even if I just put in a little effort, I got it. Not this time I guess. It's taking awhile and I'm an impatient person with real needs for a plan. No plan. Free fall. Let's see where we land. Let's see where in the world God lands me.

Head up. Chin up. Forward march.

Peace out, friends.

first day!

2009-06-18T19:28:00.001-04:00

i work at the butcher shop. hmm. what an interesting turn of events.

umm. so.

2009-06-12T21:16:00.005-04:00

Once upon a time there was a girl.

She grew up to be a "sam seng kia".

No one had high hopes. But seems like something worked out.. she graduated!

so now, unemployed and starving, she will continue to eke her way in the world. stay tuned to find out what happens next!

beware the cockroach!

2009-05-11T11:01:00.001-04:00

Fatal effects from stamping on a cockroach – an inquest was held at Bristol on Monday, before the city coroner, on the body of Elizabeth Dowding, aged 73, widow of a Bristol merchant. About three weeks ago the deceased had occasion to go into the kitchen, where she saw a cockroach, which she stamped upon, causing both the bones of her left leg to be broken. Her death occurred last Saturday. The jury brought in a verdict. “Died from compound fracture of her left leg, caused by stamping on a cockroach.”

Found this while doing some research. hrm. I'm almost done... just a complete day of writing left. growl. :)

OMG it's done.

2009-04-01T17:47:00.002-04:00

I've submitted my thesis! :)

it's up for revision in the next couple of weeks, but i think all the hard stuff is done. AWESOME!

ok now time to rest. haha. (ever notice when you've got time to rest, all this energy springs up from the unknown depths and all you want to do is play? teehee.)

gray outside.

2009-03-29T13:28:00.002-04:00

Narrow daylight entered my room
Shining hours were brief
Winter is over
Summer is near
Are we stronger than we believe?

got home at 5 this morning. Plenty to do today and tomorrow. and the day after. it'll pass.

Nerd Alert

2009-03-21T15:31:00.002-04:00

I'm blogging from the Sciences Library. It's Saturday, the first official day of my Spring break and I'm working on my thesis. hoho.

But obviously, it's procrastinating. In between sections. I've finally finished my introduction. 9 pages worth of introduction, 5 days (plus 5 more last semester) of work. woot. Ok on to the next section! ONWARD ho!

Aiya, I pretend to be nerdy, but really I'm going to be leaving for Georgia (the state, not the country) in 1.5 hours or so. And I know that I will work there at a definite slower pace than here. (the pace of life in the South is slower. hoho. jk.) I'll just be busy having fun in the sun and chilling and exploring Savannah and playing with my housemates.

So back to work! Then to play! It'll be nice to get away for a little break.

hitting the ground running

2009-03-16T15:03:00.002-04:00

I thought I'd update to break up my reading, since I was falling asleep reading about bladder cancer. But I have a bunch of writing to do from now till April 1. So, better get on it. Talked to a faraway friend online today and expressed how I've been fluctuating like crazy between good and bad days this past year. Been looking for peace, while figuring out that I don't know what I'm doing or where I'm going. Kind of strange to be in limbo, but I've been finding it a little easier to just go with it, with huge bunches of help from all over. Which strikes me as interesting, cos I do think of myself as highly capable of 'going with the flow', maybe it's just hard because life decisions just carry more weight.

It's amazing to to be certain how it'll all work out in the end, even though I don't know how. Today is obviously one of my good days.

jangjangjang

2009-03-12T15:57:00.003-04:00

I feel like singing (it's already started without me, in my head). and dancing. but I'm afraid I might collapse if I tried (I was never any good at dancing anyway, self-consciousness prevails). I'm tired, but glad that the presentation is over. Now to sit down and write the darn paper. I have let's see, just 2 weeks and a little bit to do all that. That's not very long at all, is it?

aye. The work never does seem to end. But the week does, at least. Tomorrow is Friday, and I shall be once again at the mercy of the weekend, which I do so enjoy.

But, if
Youre thinkin
About my baby
It dont matter if you're
Black or white

Yes, that is the song in my head. now I think I shall bop on home. What I shall do when I get home? Have a nap, methinks. Screw the question set that was due Tuesday, it's already late. Also I have no idea what to make of all the Victorian implications of Alice in Wonderland.

antsy.

2009-02-25T23:33:00.002-05:00

i like days when it's a little past sunset and everything is bathed in a blue glow. it makes me feel like i'm floating.

unfortunately, it doesn't last very long.

now i'm antsy, for not much reason. i have to talk to my advisors tomorrow about my thesis data, and i have time now to prep.. but i'm antsy. and i can't think well enough to start.

it hasn't been the best of weeks. but things are coming along, as they just do. and there are so many little joys.. just temporal. so i can't complain, and nothing's really wrong. but there's always something wrong, right?

i'm blogging. i only blog when i'm procrastinating. it's a good call to stop it then. :)

things loom over me. and i try to run, 'cept my shoelaces are tied together. (on that note, i really need to buy new shoes) alright. i'm off.

trepidation

2009-01-21T02:23:00.001-05:00

it's the dawn of a new day, but the end of an era.

me? i'm scared shitless.

i've got a ticket to anywhere...

2008-12-31T00:49:00.002-05:00

I'm off tomorrow, leaving for Boston then to Mexico the next day.. Everytime I have to leave to go somewhere now, I almost dread it. While knowing that once I get there I'll be excited and I'll have fun.. yet it's the leaving that's just a bummer. Who knew that I would have this sort of travel inertia.

A friend on mine wrote a play about someone leaving on a holiday.. somewhere you'd need a nice pair of sunglasses for. except it really wasn't a holiday, but it was really about a lady facing death. I had to blow my nose into my scarf watching the short play. Yet bringing myself to look at the reality of this 'holiday', in some sort of season of death this november and december, I find myself mysteriously dry-eyed.

it's just that some things were never meant to be. prayer is all we've got sometimes.

just a little bit more!

2008-12-15T16:03:00.003-05:00

imagine you go for a lab party.. and it's a christmas thing with gift exchange. you get an awesome andrea bocelli cd, then someone swaps it for a plush toy sperm. haha. it was funny and kinda cute i guess..

nerdy, but kinda cute, grows on you. haha. (if you're a boy, anyway.) but oh well, it gets swapped again, for a bottle of wine. I'm not complaining. certainly rather drink this.. hoho.

anyhoo. happy holidays and yay for interesting lab parties. i'm not so miserable there anymore, i figure, even if i don't have friends per se, I get along with everyone, and that's good enough for a part time stint. :) ciao. off to studystudy land.

sadface!

2008-12-10T12:25:00.001-05:00

“Wendy and Lucy” is rated R (Under 17 requires accompanying parent or adult guardian). It has some swearing, a little drug use and a brief implication of violence, but no nudity, sex or murder. The rating seems to reflect, above all, an impulse to protect children from learning that people are lonely and that life can be hard.

Isn't that heartbreaking?

thanksgiving.

2008-11-24T12:37:00.003-05:00

I have to say... even for me, someone who likes to eat, this might be a bit much. But nevertheless, I am excited to be at 3 consecutive days worth of thanksgiving dinners. heh. Plus I shall be making food! well, contributing to the already large amount of food. whatev.

I've been in a very happy mood of late, which might have something to do with the lack of work/crazy work-related stuff... or just cause I'm ignoring terribly important things! The only thing making me sad is that the semester has flown by so quickly, and at this time next month I shall be done with exams. and cleaning the house in preparation for the parents who are scheduled to descend upon a wintry Providence. Soon it shall all be over.

But in the meantime, give thanks! There is much to be thankful for. cheers!

rumbles and tumbles. bumbles.

2008-11-09T14:27:00.003-05:00

I'm blogging. Obviously that means I am absolutely neck high in work that I [don't want to/am scared of/am too hungry to] actually do. It's not even that hard, just been trying to work unsuccessfully on it for the past 3 days and not getting anywhere is kind of getting to me. But I have found a new philosophy! It'll get done in any case, so all the stressing out, totally temporal, so keep the stressing to a bare minimum. (ie. cramming in the wee hours of the morning only to fall asleep and study for all of 2 hours, or other such stories that any good Singaporean would be aghast to hear)

In other news, I'm totally living no frills from paper to next exam to next problem set, all the while thinking that... there's obviously more to life than this. Which I have to say, is an awesome comfort when all that senior-itis/life-itis kicks in. In fact, I revise my previous statement, knowing that there's more to life than this life is sweeet. It only sucks when roommates and friends wail and cry about the immediacy of work and failure, cos it's not nice to be sad all the time.

So I guess it's back to work. and waiting for lunch to be delivered to me. and enjoying the view of the really really pretty outdoors (enjoying the day from inside doesn't seem to be good enough, but sometimes there just no choice, and it's better than not enjoying it at all).. I guess it's going to be a pretty good day after all! now about that work......

ohhhhhh.. the panic.

2008-10-05T16:25:00.002-04:00

job search? exams? papers? meetings? ooh i can feel the pimples waiting to bubble to the surface and give me even more to worry about. haha.

it's a good thing i have something solid to cling to and set my eyes on. how do people do this on their own??

ok i'm done procrastinating. back to work.

bring it back!!!!

2008-09-11T13:23:00.003-04:00

someone stole hong's car. that was not nice. especially cos she only got it 2 weeks ago. mouu. and my neighbourhood is relatively safe. oh well.

back from the dead.

2008-08-26T10:00:00.002-04:00

This is my attempt to pump some life into this blog. I have been told that I must post by a friend of mine. Unfortunately, I don't have any lovely pictures of pretty girly things, or of myself posing in a fitting room, so maybe you all will have to made do with about half of the pictures of my trip that I've uploaded onto flickr. I ran out of steam and space, so I will probably upload the latter half next month.

Yup, so I've been spending my summer here in Providence and traveling in Eastern Europe. Doing some research on the epigenetics of bladder cancer here.. (it's ok, you don't have to know what that is. I barely do) with will carry on through the school year, and should (cross my fingers) culminate in a senior honours thesis. Meanwhile, I've been spending most of my not-at-work time pottering around my new off campus residence.. cooking, cleaning and watching tv (all you really ever need) and putting off making big decisions about my life.

The trip was a pretty big one, I country hopped through 10 countries in 34 days trying to spend as little money as possible, and also seeing all the big cities.. I really enjoyed what little I saw of Poland, Czech Rep., Hungary.. and I also liked Transylvania in Romania alot. (yes, you've heard that before: think Dracula) Overall it was a good trip with good company, and if at times not so good food, plenty of good drinks. I blame the slight increase in weight on the number of beers I inhaled. Because, usually I come back from a trip lighter. Oh well, can't have everything in life huh. Give and take, I say.

Spending the summer away from Singapore was very different though. I thought it would be no sweat, but sometimes loneliness without my friends here over summer coupled with chatting with muchly missed friends and family occasionally made me a little homesick. But it's good to hear from people. People are moving all over the place too. Seems like the next must-stop in Asia is Hong Kong.. Going back to Singapore's just not going to cut it anymore. Oh well. At least the food is good.

Anyhoo, I'm starting school in about a week, and I'm excited about it, but really dreading this year, it being my last here. I can't postpone my decisions forever, and I do have to start thinking, if not knowing, what I want to do for the next couple of years. well. wish me luck! I'll try hard to keep posting. Probably a couple of pictures from my new place soon! (after we clean it up and all)

dumdum

2008-05-12T23:18:00.002-04:00

I'M DONE! hallelujah. haha. :)

I'm ready for summer. well not really. cos i need to pack up and move and start work and stuff. oh well. hope everything is well with everyone. Nothing much can go wrong today. also cos there isn't much left of today.

I want to break free...
I want to break free...

blub

2008-04-15T02:33:00.002-04:00

I'm tired. it's 2.30am and I'd been sitting still in a chair in front of the computer in the library since 7.30pm. I was sick of the website. Free hosting= you can't do anything once you exceed your limit for the day apparently. So I came home. It was cold out. And immediately, I get onto my computer again. (it's like I'm stupid or something) Anyway I'm hungry and I'm eating a cereal bar thing.

And I can't believe that school's about to end again so soon. It's like, the year starts and 3 weeks later it ends. I guess it's a good sign that I'm still enjoying school after all these years. (I remember wanting to go to school all the time as a primary school kid.) If anything I enjoy it more now. So that's good, right? Sometimes. I get the feeling that people who like school don't like leaving. I'll be a senior next year, and I'm scared. Cos I don't know where I'm going, trying to figure out whether that's a good or bad thing... the thing about having an A-Z plan, is that you don't get surprised every once in awhile. The thing about having no plan, is well... that you have no plan.

Well sleep draws me in. I hope the geocities thing works tomorrow. I don't like doing work and not being able to show anything for it.

I have to visit the art museum tomorrow, find a piece of art I like, and sit with it for 15 minutes.

Oh dear. Taxes are due today.

HOLD IT!

2008-03-11T12:36:00.002-04:00

WHEEEEEE. is low sleep. And I spend an hour this morning in a machine listening to a woman telling me to 'breathe in, push all the air out, breathe in... and HOLD it!' In any case, I was half asleep, waking up at 7.30 ini the morning does not me a happy bum make. It makes a sleepy groggy and sometimes grumpy one. haha.

Anyway, I hope that's the end of my hospital adventures.. I'm pretty much done w that place for the next decade. :D

sunday blues

2008-02-10T10:12:00.000-05:00

Haha. Well I was in a rush and didn't get a chance to talk about Geek Central in Long Island. Lovely. Since I got a friend addicted to dice, why not talk about it. Wii is the hottest new toy to hit the block in Geek Central.. every house is stocked with one. And no, most I believe don't own 'Cooking Mama' Which is unfortunate, because then maybe I would've won something. :) Magic Cards are not out of style, and most dice are called D-6s. Because apparently, Dungeons and Dragons isn't out of style either.

Also stayed in an environmentally friendly house in the suburbs (I think that borders on oxymoron-ic) where much water is saved because some inhabitants take it upon themselves to rid the world of the idea that 'cleanliness is next to godliness'

In any case, it's almost time for me to head out to church. So I hope you're happy now. I wish I documented Geek Central with photographs.. But that would have made the experience less than what is truly was.

Oh. and Sunday blues = I have an exam on monday already. rawr. need to study.

In other news...

2008-02-01T18:38:00.000-05:00

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall,
All the king's horses and all the king's men,
Managed to staple Humpty's head together again.

I never knew what part the king's horses played in this, it's not like they have opposable thumbs.

Rainy days

2008-02-01T18:18:00.000-05:00

Haven't been here in awhile, thought I'd share photos of my break. It wasn't terrible exciting for the most part, alot of hang out time and eating time with friends.. But in all a great, relaxing break. (where to next, I wonder?)

First stop, San Diego. And the zoo. :) I have to say, though the Singapore Zoo is pretty much a favourite for me, I think it's a fantastic zoo, this one was up there on the list too. It was nice. Also of note, it was a lot cooler and I guess that makes for a more pleasant day trip, since sweating profusely is not a factor. (have a hippo and a peeing panda)

Next stop, LA. Where I spent New Year's with friends. That was my after countdown "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" picture. :) Also when to a bunch of places, of note Knotts Berry Farm where a small friend and I risked our lives to generate a large dose of adrenaline.

Ok, next stop, San Francisco/East Palo Alto, where it was bumming, blackouts and buffets.

Then to Lake Tahoe for some snow. It was great. Falls and muscle aches aside, of course.

But the view from up there was amazing. Unfortunately, you can't ski/ride down. Because the only route down is a double black diamond. :) Oh well, maybe when I'm 60.

Sacramento was fun too. Will miss friend who is in Sac this semester.. At least we got to hang out which was awesome. Ok. Trip concludes in Long Island, New York.

break time

2007-12-22T23:43:00.000-05:00

School's out! Seemed like it wouldn't end. But all's well that ends well, and I guess it ended alright. Off to warmer (hopefully sunnier too) places soon.

Ugh I watched too much tv and slept infront of it WAY too much today.

let it snow let it snow let it snow!

2007-12-14T11:18:00.000-05:00

Ever wondered why they play winter time songs all about snow in Singapore? :) I have.

Anyway, since I'm so terribly busy that I found some time to waste here, pictures from snow yesterday. Even had time to photoshop them and make them all nice. haha.

(Click to see it big. Taken from my phone, so not the best pictures. But oh well.)

:) yay snow. I like.

YAY SNOW!

2007-12-13T12:30:00.001-05:00

:) it's snowing.

said the Chinese princess to the frog prince...

2007-12-13T01:59:00.000-05:00

...AH MUNNA EAT CHOO!

So. Finals. And wintertime. I'm hungry constantly, feeling the pull of stuffing my face and going into hibernation. Like a bear. A big white polar bear, since I'm pasty too. haha.

I'm only comforted by the fact that by this time next week I shall be free. And then I'll have to click my heels and scream.. JOLLY GOOD! But till then. Tis a poor thing me. Left to my lecture notes, problem sets and calculator. They do make for good company. It's just like having my very own 6pc tissue box set to talk to.. peaceful. quiet.. quiet... zzz.

Anyway the theory of stocks and shares are a-beckoning. I have a ways to trod before the darkness claims me for the night, only to spit me out tomorrow. LALA.

Is weird, I know. Don't judge. It's just me. :)

green is the colour of envy.

2007-11-26T23:42:00.000-05:00

everybody was kung fu fighting... HE! those cats were fast as lightning... HA!

Hmm. not the most glamourous song to be playing in my head, but way better than the national anthem, or the school song (one of). So Thanksgiving is over, and I thought that I'd update with my plans for the winter, since I'm procrastinating and trying to put off my reading (for just 15 minutes, I promise.. won't tell you how long my 'break' has already been)

SO. Heading to hopefully sunny California for I guess, about 3 and a half weeks, stopping in many places. Start off in San Diego, up to LA, up further to San Francisco, then to Sacramento, then to Lake Tahoe for some snowy slopes, then back to Sacramento for a bit, then off to spend some time in New York City.. before heading back to Brown for another semester. Sounds like tonnes of fun. Wish you all could be here.

Check back when I'm in need of more procrastination. :)

Giving thanks..

2007-11-20T11:36:00.000-05:00

for Thanksgiving.

I'm so glad for the holiday. Granted I have been doing almost nothing for the past 4 days already since my mid terms finally ended, but it's the first real break I've had all semester.. and me being me, I'm cherishing it. Sleeping in, watching tv, reading books... blogging etc. haha. :D

It snowed today. A little. Wimpy snow that didn't stick and was at times rain and at times snow, but nice nonetheless. I think one of the things I enjoy the most here is the seasons. They're so beautiful. Even in the sloshy cold and icy wind, there's.. something about it.

Ok. Well, on to better things. Shopping today cooking tomorrow (who knew?) haha. But I'm off. Hope the exams/work go(es) well, it shall be my turn all too soon I'm sure.

one more to go!

2007-11-14T14:49:00.000-05:00

So I've conquered one midterm and an essay already in the past 2 days. One more midterm tomorrow. Doubt much sleep tonight. But who cares, after this.. next stop Thanksgiving! nice break. Ok got to head to class now..

dumdeedum.

i wish i was crazy.

2007-11-13T05:55:00.000-05:00

All my people right here right now.. D'you know what I mean...

And by right here, right now, I mean in my room at 6am pseudo studying (but really, blogging and hoping the exam won't be too hard so I won't regret these wasted 15 minutes). Soon the sun will rise, and the hustle and bustle of day will be upon me. And I can bet that tonight I will be super duper stressed, though now in the quiet of today's looming dawn I am at peace. Of course, this week is a killer week, just one of many.

I wish I could kick back like this more often. I wish that I could care less about my work and take it all in. I could be doing many things right now. Like sleeping. Or putting on several layers of clothes and going for a walk before the sun rises. I want to be crazy like that, but I know I'm not. When I'm gone people will say, "She was practical". Lovely.

Whoopdeedoop. Ok anyway I'm off. Perhaps I will take a shower. Or perhaps I will study. Or perhaps I will fall asleep and not wake up in time for my exam in 3 hours. Hmm. Better set that alarm in case. Toodles.

update......

2007-11-10T09:02:00.000-05:00

so i thought it was high time to update. :) oops.

So couple of things I've done recently...

had an interesting birthday. haha. it was fun. messy-ish but nothing a good wash can't deal with. haha. nothing much to report.. still feel about 12 years old. haha. good fun.

play with little kids.. more fun than i thought. haha. they are very entertaining.

I went hiking! :D it was tonnes of fun. total 5 miles. mt cardigan in NH! was at a retreat and took the afternoon to trek up a mountain. (it's fun when it's not hot and humid) http://www.summitpost.org/mountain/rock/151544/mount-cardigan.html the top was freezing and tremendously windy. and sunset was awesome.

Ok I'm off now.. thinking of going to my first home American football game here. (the y aren't very good anyway. haha.) but first shower time! laalaa...

what librarians do all day.

2007-10-16T16:08:00.001-04:00

OOF. I'm so hungry. and sleepy. Just about done with a monster day. They're working me hard this week with all these stupid exams. And who says that people go overseas to slack around. ;)

But all's well that ends with an A. haha. No, but I was just thinking walking home from my first midterm... you know how before exams you're sitting there watching the invigilator hand out the papers and you're like (if you're religious in any way, or sometimes even when you're not)... 'please help me get through this' ie. I NEED to do well here. and afterwards, you think/pray 'you know just help me to know that whatever it is.. it's alright, I tried and did my best'

It's strange, that you'd convince yourself that things are ok in such an odd manner. Why were you so bothered with it in the first place that you were almost pissing your pants in the exam hall (I wasn't, the only body fluid I was secreting was sweat from running there from my last class, but you know what I mean. That clammy, ' oh my gosh, what was that formula again.. I'm so dead. it's going to come out and be like a 50 mark question or smth' ) It's just that the after thought/prayer is so.. trite. so much like something you say just to console yourself. and perhaps we need it, to carry on with our day, to close the chapter. To know that at some level, everything will be ok.

Or maybe... at some level you know that you won't remember it years from today, even an eternity from today, that a silly exam's not such a big deal in the larger scheme of things. But oh well. I still hope I got an A. :) And I'm off to find something to eat. I'm ravenous. And I'm done wasting time at the library just trying to clock my hours. :)

much ado about...

2007-09-29T21:40:00.000-04:00

sitting in my room. it's a saturday night. I'm going out in 20 minutes, and I felt compelled to jot something down here, even though I have absolutely nothing to say. During the days, I walk.. and as I'm walking and thinking, I always think to myself: that would be such a wonderful thing to blog about. Then I forget what it was. Oh well. Too bad that I lose thoughts about as quickly as they occur to me.

I've started work once more, and I hab to tell yoo.. I've forgotten how tiring it was to go up and down the aisles and squat and stand and squat and stand. In case you don't know, and you're like.. you do WHAT?? I work at the library. (I know, it's terribly tak-glam. But I earn a pretty sizable income for the few hours I put in... so there) PLUS you'd never guess, but I went to the gym for the first time this week! (aches galore. I'm not sure when the last time I've used that word--galore. it looks funny) Not just the first time this week, not just the first time this semester, not just the first time this year. But the first time at Brown. I know. It's not a shocker.

So lazybones decided to get out of bed and be active. question is... how long will this last?? Hah. Place your bets. Not the working, cos I kind of like the cash inflow. the gym-ing. whoo. tired just thinking about it.

Ok I'm done talking about nothing now. Away with me!

:)

2007-09-25T12:12:00.000-04:00

Is me here. Hope you there is happy birthday. Miss a tonne.

And I know this photo is super glam.. But that's why I put it up. heh. It looks even MORE glam large. Click and see. :D

making home.

2007-09-13T23:56:00.000-04:00

Been working on my room. Still working on it, but I think I've come a long way. I just spent a long time playing in photoshop. Cos I'm so bad at it. haha. Well have a look-see, explore my room! It was the first image from a few entries ago.... then transformation to it's present state. I realised that the lighting in the 'done' pictures is not v nice... but I can't be bothered. It's amazing that I've done all this already. haha.

Also been settling down into classes. Had a little bit of a fright when I rudely realised that this class I was going to take, was terribly boring.. and I really didn't want to go, and the other classes that I could've substituted for it, were all full, horror of horrors! So. But that's settled, and I'm about ready to get into the grind again.

I'm doing laundry now. Hence, the time to kill and blog with. And I'm going to the zoo tomorrow for a nonsense class that I'm taking. Yay. :) BUT I also have an 8am Biostatistics Computer Lecture. Rawr. Ok I'm off. Time to fold clothes. (It takes me like.. half an hour. That's how long I wait before I do laundry.) WHEEEEEEEE. Happy weekend everybody. I'm glad for it. And I do love fridays and saturdays so.

Random

2007-09-09T14:45:00.000-04:00

So I found this picture that I took in a shop in HK. I believe it was the Japanese supermart place.

It's like a stress ball thingamajig. And the best part were the instructions:
- For the people who have such troubles recently that forgetting a smile, feeling stress, and tending to pass by someone
- You must be unconscious of the passage of time if once you got the feeling which is the one you cannot spare
- For a smart present
- Let's attach to write your feeling, which you cannot say directly, in a message
- (this is my favourite) It is safe to throw it in a quarrel by husband and wife because it is very soft, but we cannot recommend to do so.
- There are 4 types of faces, so please choose a favourite one.

Haha. Well, I thought it was funny. In other news, I've moved in all my stuff and will post pictures of the transformation soon. :)

heigh-ho, heigh ho....

2007-09-08T09:45:00.000-04:00

Did you know that the continuation lyrics to this song are actually: it's home from work we go.. ? I've ALWAYS sung it's off to work we go. haha. Well just to let you know.. cos I looked up the lyrics and was surprised. Not that I'm going to stop singing it the way I always have been.

Well, I'm moving all my stuff in today, just waiting for people to get the boxes from storage.... lots of moving today. Rest is essential. I should take a picture of my makeshift room. It's ALREADY so cluttered. But I think it's funny that I have (unexpectedly) lived out of my suitcase for awhile. my towel and bedsheets are borrowed, i had a small blanket and my pillow is wearing a teeshirt as a pillowcase. Oh well. Today ALL shall change and I will have more things than I know where to store in this little room. How exciting. laalaalaa. Ok I'm going to look for a nice picture to put up.. just because I have time. I said I'd try to blog more and post more pictures.

On another note my textbooks are SO expensive I'm sad. :(

Ooh I found a good one. YUM.

I like. Alot. Well Happy Move-In Day to me!

almost home.

2007-09-04T11:19:00.000-04:00

Back on campus, partially moved in. the rest will have to wait for saturday. It's a good thing I brought enough stuff from home. I didn't think we'd be moving in officially so late. My friends' rooms are all set up and ready for use already! And mine is... kinda bare and prison like. The cinderblock walls don't help.

Have a look.

ok back in i bit. that's good for now. :) can't wait for my stuff to come and this can then finally be called home.

last week on the island

2007-08-21T06:05:00.000-04:00

I just realised that the next time I'm back for more than a month, may not be as soon as I'd like. And I'm counting in years here. This makes me sad. I hate goodbyes. I think maybe I'm getting soft. So much for never cracking under pressure and never crying at sad movies. Ah, age has caused the follies of youth to disappear. (Ok, I know, exaggeration here)

But it just sucks that I want to be in 2 places as badly as I do. I wouldn't have chosen otherwise though, so I guess, there's nothing to regret, just lots to miss.

Didn't spend enough time with the people who really matter.

I guess this is it, I'll see you when I do see you. And for those I don't see, you know that I'm going to be right here, trying to be good, or at least the best I know how.

wanderlust and wardrobe dysfunction

2007-08-02T04:59:00.000-04:00

FEEDING FRENZY! Food has never tasted quite this satisfying. You know, it's got nothing to do with having REALLY good food everyday, but it's just comfortable food. Not comfort-ing food, but comfortable food. I don't have to really think about what I want to eat, and it's all good at almost any hawker centre. Awesome stuff.

All the same, I want to get out of here to see something else. I can't seem to stay in a place long enough to know it. I'm still a tourist here. And home changes its identity every few months. Confusing. haha. It's a little sad that I'm finally comfy enough to sit back, relax and recognise home for what it is.. that i have to psyche myself up to leave again. Funny, I thought that it'd get easier with the passing of years, but I miss things more now than I used to, when I first set off. It seems contradictory, this wanderlust and the need to feel at home somewhere, anywhere. No explanations in sight. Don't think I can put it into words, it's something unexplainable that I can't quite put my finger on. Not at all surprising to me, I don't think I've been able to articulate my emotions inside since, well, ever. I'm a caveman, really.

Well, I can look forward to feeling alright with my drawers bursting with nothing but tee shirts and jeans again. For some reason, I always feel pressured to not ALWAYS wear that here. Must be my fashionista friends. Or maybe it's an outwelling of the fashionista inside of me! (ha. ha.) Back to school back to school...

I'll do what I always do. Ignore it all the way, and then get swept up in the activity so I don't have quite enough time to process anything. And that keeps me pretty happy. There's the secret folks, that's how I deal. No biggie. Cos it all works out somehow, and I never have to think till maybe it's too late for thinking.

Whee. Hmm. This is kinda emo without meaning to be. Strange.

Goes to visit his mommy
She feeds him well his concerns
He forgets them
And remembers being small
Playing under the table and dreaming
- Ants Marching Dave Matthews

homeward bound

2007-06-06T12:08:00.000-04:00

So. Home. Here I come. I don't know what I feel about that. Well. See you all in a bit.

i'm off to see the wizard...

2007-05-19T03:01:00.000-04:00

It's been a long year. Too many classes, pushing myself a little too hard (despite it being 'good' for me). But here I am. In the same place I was last year. Sitting in an emptied-out room, wondering to myself, where did the year go? And how different is the me this year?

It's probably going to take awhile to get used to, I miss everyone already. All my friends are gone (packed up and left). Was talking to a friend today. We both keep 2 sets of friends... like school time friends, and summer time friends. It's amazing how when I'm home it seems l'd never left, but it's a pity that I'm so bad at being a keeper-in-toucher. And the same goes for friends over here in the summer. Out of sight, out of mind has never been so true and so sad.

Right, I have a bus to catch early tomorrow. Or today. I'm going to be so tired. Rawr. But it shall all be worth it.

There's been a cold and rainy front blowing in from goodness knows where, so that the nice spring/summer weather with it's sunshine and temperature coming terrribly close to Singapore weather went from that 2 days ago and plummeted to less that 5 degrees C today. Sorry to whoever's visiting man, the weather REALLY sucks. I packed all my warm clothes. I have ONE sweater. I do have many days on (hopefully) sunny Caribbean island to get warmed up though. I'm so glad for a chance to unwind. I've been feeling all stretched out for a while. 10 days in the Virgin Islands should do the trick I believe. :) I don't mean to be mean to people.. but I'm enjoying as much as humanly possible my holiday time. And killing my bank account, running down all my hard earned cash through slogging at the library. Ok. Enjoy, stop thinking about the money...........

I had an interview yesterday. For a really challenging internship with the US EPA. But is it bad that I'm in two minds about whether I want it? It sounds really good, really what I want to explore, but I want to go home. It's been a little long away. We'll see. I don't believe I'd get it; the interview was fine but I'm sure the other 7 applicants have way more experience in this field than I do. Perhaps that be a good thing.

I am sleepy. I still want to gather up more stuff to trash tomorrow. But if I don't sleep. I think things will not be good. So off to bed. *yawn

sunshine go away today, I dont feel much like singing..

2007-04-28T15:01:00.000-04:00

i hate the world today. Why does the world have to be all broken and messy. It's spoilt. I want it fixed, but I can't seem to persuade myself that I can't fix it on my own.

Today's post has nothing to do with yesterday's. It's really not a good day today.. compared to emonemo Chinese music day.

Rawr.

I want to go home. But I'm not sure where home is, if what I want is perfection.

back from the dead only to plunge in once again.

2007-04-27T21:00:00.000-04:00

Hello all. I'm alive, just thought I'd let you all know.

It's been an eventful semester, so much so that I can't remember anything that's happened off the top of my head. (I think those are the best.) haha. But, it's been good. I'm declared and all raring to go for the next 2 years here.

But I'm now kind of slumpy. It's been a good run, but I think I wore myself out, and affter taking a2-3 week long effective hiatus from the crazy work, I can't seem to get back into gear. I think the gear box is spoilt. So I'm just here, listening to emo-nemo music, whilst finishing reading for a research paper. I dont understand the paper that is my research. It's all mathy and stuff. Have a look at it and cringe for me. I know I very poor thing.

http://federalreserve.gov/pubs/ifdp/2006/861/ifdp861.pdf

I'm sort of at a point where I'm kind of homesick. I think it's the Chinese music that I'm listening to. Since it's little of that and much more hiphop here. At least that's what blasts out of the fraternity from downstairs.

Ok enough procrastinating plus I'm running out of Chinese music, (it's limited on my computer). I'm going to start I'm going to start I'm going to start. I will. Soon. Eventually. :) After all, I have to.

highlights.

2006-11-29T16:59:00.000-05:00

I'm really awful at this huh. I think I should no longer insist that I'm trying hard to update this. :)

Well another 3 weeks, till end of the semester! Too much brouhaha (AUP) this semester.. Just WAY too many things going on. But it's all coming to an end and I don't know how I feel about it. Probably happy. That things are finally sorting themselves out. But this was a jam-packed semester. hoo. I'm tired thinking about it. It's all good 'cos the holiday is coming! Say "HELLO FUNFUNFUN!" And it's time to see my nana! I'm so happy someone's going to come see my school. haha. I know. Dorky. Whatev.

But SKI TIME.

THEN down down down to South America!
Be jealous. So everyone now knows my holiday plans. :)

Thanksgiving was wonderful. I have decided that it's the Chinese New Year of the West. FOOOOOOOOOD glorious food. mmhmm. haha. Hannah's house is pretty and her family's nice. We sang a Jewish song! To thank God for the bread. heh. It was cool. But the best part was the company. Wonderful company and good food, what can I say, good break.

Ok that's it for now. pictures up on flickr.

long weeekend. hooray for columbus.

2006-10-06T02:45:00.000-04:00

hallelujah. :) i like long weekends. i like them better when they're not followed by papers and exams, but you know, sometimes you just shouldn't be so picky. so its been awhile, and i've been meaning to update but just haven't had the inspiration to do so. indeed. blogging requires a good deal of patience and inspiration. i think maybe i should just embrace the fact that i'll have much of a love for it. sorry yong. haha. you'd have to just only come here and steal my photos like once a month.

so ANYWAY, school's incredibly busy and i get scared when i look at my schedule. and i feel like i've been here at least 2 months, though it's not really quite the case. somehow despite the business, i've been doing alright, the Lord has been sustaining me. through a tonne of stuff, what with school work and administrative nightmares and all.
it's pretty amazing that i'm having a pretty jolly time, in the midst of all this. i guess the timely reminders from friends and the change of seasons just sort of brings things back into focus when i forget.

it's starting to get a little colder.. but still pleasant weather, mid-10s. no scarves and what nots out yet. i like it like this. it's sweatshirt weather. and i just love chapalan clothing where i can just throw on anything. (basically everything that i wear here. i never bother to dress up. i just don't have to. it's fabulous.)

heading up to boston on saturday to get my dose of chinese/asian food. plus it doesn't hurt to leave this supposed city every once in awhile. excited for this winter and my plans, though they are still in formation process. i dont have time to think about winter and summer internships and study abroad options and school work and RUF stuff and God all at the same time! ARH! haha. oh well. tis just a bout of 3am gibberish. thought i'd blog after writing a paper. it's late. and it's sleepy time. so sleeeeeeeep beckons. night all.

ps it was jackie's birthday and we made her a cake. from cake mix, but still. at least we put frosting on and did the sprinkles! haha well i thought it looked pretty.

ok more photos to be up soon. i promise to try. :D

School's in!

2006-09-06T17:28:00.000-04:00

hi all. coming to you live from brown university, rhode island. school started yesterday. and hoo. getting used to the swing of things once again. and shopping for classes. (which is not as shiok as it sounds, though it is pretty sweet.) so it's been quite awhile since i blogged and it's been a nice long summer.

since i got back here to school, i've been working on planning the year ahead for RUF (Reformed University Fellowship - christian fellowship. if you want to know more, visit www.rufbrownrisd.org) there's alot of change going on cos the pastor-in-charge is leaving to plant a church. and there's alot of transistion going on. it's probably hard to explain, but the workings of a university fellowship is (or seems) so different from ministry within the church, though we ARE a ministry of the church. a branch sort of. but through all this change, despite transistion pains and all, i'm learning alot. to love when i don't feel like loving and to serve when i don't feel like serving. reaching freshmen is one of the things going on now. and i'm kind of awkward when it comes to meeting new people and being real, being myself. i tend to put up this 'nice' mask. and though i hope i'm nice anyway, i think the 'nice' mask is a fake one, and that's not v nice. and i was SO suspicious of people when I was a freshman. especially the nice ones. haha. oh well. awkwardness is sort of a part of life.

but aside from all that, i'm happy to be back with my friends.. i miss them when i'm home. and i miss my friends at home when i'm here. i guess you just can't have the best of everything. to people i've promised pictures to, i'll get around to it. and i will also take a couple of pictures of my new room when it's all set up. it's still in the 'v messy but functional' stage. and i want to put up the flickr thingy so people can see pictures. nana email me/tell me how to on msn. :) (you know i love you, i'm really not just using you for your technological capabilities.) oh well, i've got a dinner date w my friends soon... so cheers all, i hope everyone's doing alright. my love to all.

i'm killing that mockingbird.

2006-06-29T13:18:00.000-04:00

You never really understand a person until you consider things from his point of view..

..until you climb into his skin and walk around in it.

too many points of view with too few visible viewpoints. that's life for you. teach me to look from outside of myself, just for once, just for twice.

and what if, just what if, you spend all your time in a skin that's not yours.. can the pretense of being someone else become real? and could we wish for anything else then to not be me.

packing up, leaving home, going home.

2006-05-20T14:43:00.000-04:00

you know, i've never had to pack up before from anywhere. not just pack like to go on a holiday, but pack UP. and leave a place entirely barren. it's strange that a home is made up of the things that are in it. your OWN things. some things useful, some completely useless.. and when those things are taken away, the place ceases to be home. all my roommate and i had to do was take down the posters in our room.. and it was just so empty of personality/memories. we both had photos from home on the wall... and or respective posters.. so different but so fun. haha.
what can you tell about a person just stepping into their room? can you tell what they're like, their experiences, their hopes, the changes they had to make? or maybe it's just a room. and i'm over-thinking it.
i already miss my friends. they've all gone home. it's been barely a day but you know that itch you get but you can't scratch it cos you can't seem to find the spot? well it's like that. well it's time to get a move on. summer is only 3 months away. ha. only.
i miss home. both my homes. oh well. it's travelling for a bit and then heading back. i'll be back on the 21st of june yeah? take care all.

i'm hungry.

2006-05-18T12:05:00.000-04:00

i feel like breaking out into a chorus of "HALLELUJAH, HALLELUJAH" .... like from Handel's "Messiah". haha so i'm happy the exams are over. sue me. PLUS i packed up all my stuff. oh dear that was SO hard. too many things. like i dont even have that much stuff. mostly it's small boxes with my lamp, bedding and stuff. but it's so much to do i spent a good 6 hours just packing. hoo. glad that's over. need to go store it now. loading and unloading. woot. :)

2006-05-13T22:17:00.000-04:00

ok so it's not new. but it's still cool.

i like bouncy balls.

2006-05-13T15:13:00.000-04:00

the new sony ad is so cool. and i'm so excited that they actually used real bouncy balls! go see it! and you can read other stuff on the main page too! :)

http://www.bravia-advert.com/commercial/braviaextcommhigh.html

it's CRUNCH time!

2006-05-13T00:03:00.000-04:00

bah i hate exams. and i'm such a procrastinator! woot. :)

rawr

2006-05-01T15:26:00.000-04:00

hello.. so reading period's started for me.. and unfortunately 3 of 4 of my classes don't observe it. bah. so here i am.. not wanting to play anymore attention, listless in class. bored to death. and honestly, it's not that i don't like my classes, just that it's time to stop. it's THAT time of the semester where i just want to throw in the towel and say to the exams "bring it on!" just so i can be done with classes. haha. but not really cos i'd need to study alot. oh well.

i'm guess everyone in singapore's almost done with exams? i don't really follow closely the academic seasons. well i guess good for you. on to a nice long break. :) hasn't the school year just flown by? people here say each year goes faster and faster and suddenly it's time for work. life cycle. work cycle. so odd that the years just flash by. we're going to one day all be old, and look back on our lives and wonder, "where did all that time go?" hmm. i guess when people say that life is short.. that's when you really feel it. when you're old and life seems alot nearer to it's end and you feel like you've been here but a short while. you live, you die. cycle on.

cheers to the weekend! goodbye to the week that wouldn't end!

2006-04-07T15:22:00.000-04:00

so. it's been awhile huh. so i just KNEW this would happen when i first started blogging(i almost wrote bogging.. but that would be wrong, cos that was a LONG time ago.) i just get so lazy to update. so sorry to my avid readers. psssh. haha.

well spring break was last week, and so it's the final stretch for me now.. just had a midterm today. like.. an hour ago. and it was a pain, but it's over and i think it seemed alright i guess. oh well. i have to catch up on readings and all this week i don't know where it all went. i think i had work that i ignored during spring break and pushed back and so the cycle continues. this week was SO long! it just didn't want to end. but it's over now and time for catch up. i can rest next week. :D

but for now i've got to read some paperwork for a meeting i have tmr morning. it's 9am in church. which is down the hill. i dont think i've gotten out of bed that early this entire semester cos saturday is sleep in day. pssh. i know all of you out there are saying that 9 is nothing. but it's something for me.. and i'm being so terrible and complaining. haha ok i'll wake up and it'll be all good. and i'll remember to bring gum. cos it's a long meeting and i can't fall asleep. it's such a harsh reality that i honestly can't stay awake ANYWHERE. any tips? (other than coffee) i'll try anything.(except that) well. i'm alive and well. and happy that the weekend is here. despite having to wake up early tmr. i'm going to learn new things! so that's good. and i hope it's nice out tmr morning.

can you believe it snowed yesterday (or was it day before)?? come on i mean.. it's ALREADY april. spring needs to get on with the program already. bah. well the flowers are coming out and yesterday was a freak show. it's mainly rainy. but it still needs to get warmer. i'm happy that spring is round the corner. :D

ok take care guys. i'll be back soon, i promise. and when i say soon i mean.. like next week. i hope my dad had a happy birthday.

workworkworkworkwork

2006-03-14T01:41:00.000-05:00

oog. it's been awhile huh. :)

i realise i blog (even) less now that i'm not doing com sci and stuck in the lab all the time. and it's a good thing mind you not that i'm complaining. this week's going to be a really really tough week for me though.. so pray for me! (and you wonder.. why does she pick the busiest week to blog when she could spend this time working. haha beats me) yeah i have 2 exams come thursday and friday. and lotsa homework and reading too. bah. but you know what i'm going to beat it. (plus one exam's not so important) but mucho studying. so i'm going to hit the books now and dream of the weekend.

lots to say but not much time. will update again soon. :) take care you guys i hope everyone's doing fantastic. ;)

brighter than sunshine

2006-02-26T16:01:00.000-05:00

:) i love weekends.

it's nice to kick back and relax. and i'm literally doing that and it's a sunday afternoon! how lovely. midterms and all that are temporarily over.. and i'm free. for a day or two. nice.

today was such a beautiful day(i say was because it's 4 and the sun will probably set soon) it was so sunnnnny. and pretty cos there's a little bit of snow on the ground from yesterday. i love the sun. it's beautiful here. when it's cold out especially. and it was cold this morning. i woke up under my down blanket.. and it was cold. and then i realised why. silly me forgot to switch on the heat. i'm so clever. haha cos di's the one who usually turns the heat on and off and i just deal with whatever the room's temperature is. but she's away running at dartmouth. so no human thermostat = cold me. aww.

it was funny. i complained about to my mom this morning and she was like serves you right for not turning on the heat. haha and i COMPLETELY agree. :D oops.

ok so this is a short, pointless entry but just letting people know i'm alive. and i'm shaking legs. for a day. feels good. i'm happy. i hope everyone's ok. drop me a line!

be nice. i tried.

2006-02-12T00:00:00.000-05:00

so. i'm kinda tired. :)
was helping out in a night bazaar. and for a good cause too! we've been planning it for months.. not that i did much, but i attended meetings and stuff. and gave ideas and everything. i just didn't have much to give that's all. but it's different.. doing what i can for someone somewhere on the other side of the world, or a different world from me anyway. how long has it been since i did something to help others? community service in school, i nv did hard, meaningful things. i did easy, not-meaningful things like.. stacking books at the library. or weeding. i never helped anyone. the truth is.. it scares me to help someone in need. i'm scared of old people, i'm scared of kids, i'm scared of disabled people. i guess i'm just sort of socially awkward in that sort of way. ever wonder what to say? what do they want to hear? is help without social interaction really inferior sort of help? hmm.

anyway it was nice to think of someone other than myself for a change.

there was a blood drive at my school this week. surprise surprise but i went for it. i plucked up my courage(strange phrase) and marched my bloodful self over there. i really really tried to be as brave as i could. i'm TERRIFIED of needles. i don't know what made me do it. but i did. and i got poked and type tested and all. and as i sat on the blood giving bed, they tried to find a suitable vein.. and they couldn't. i'm serious. my veins are too small. and the needle's too big. 'some people just aren't made for giving blood, sorry but thanks for trying!' just as well right i'd probably faint from just looking at the big needle.. but truth is, i was so disappointed. i hate being psyched up for things.. even things as unpleasant as giving blood, and then being let down. haha. but it's funny now looking back. i mean.. i tried. not like i didn't try. so yay to me for being brave and trying to help. :)

alrighty. i'm just going to put a picture up and leave. it's a tired me.

just a couple of my favourite people. :) ish blurry. but i like it anyway.

2006-02-08T15:09:00.000-05:00

I'll sing it one last time for you
Then we really have to go
You've been the only thing that's right
In all i've done.

And I can barely look at you
But every single time I do
I know we'll make it anywhere
Anywhere from here

Light up, Light up
As if you have a choice
Even if you cannot hear my voice
I'll be right beside you dear

Louder, louder
And we'll run for our lives
I can hardly speak I understand
Why you can't raise your voice to say

To think I might not see those eyes
It makes it so hard not to cry
And as we say our long goodbyes
I nearly do.

-run.snow patrol-

live from brown.

2006-01-24T11:45:00.000-05:00

hey i'm home. again. well. home in the little dorm room. funny how it's become home as well. :) i had so much fun in singapore! just doing nothing and hanging out with friends and family. i mean.. come on.. swimming every other day? fantastic man. though i'm regretting slightly now cos though i didn't get completely sunburnt, it made me a little dry and now im itchy. haha. but all's well.

was in new york for like a day. and cliff brought me around and was a perfect gentleman. honestly. so much that i felt bad. :) i swear i can't stay with him again! haha. we went to see avenue Q. it was SO hilarious. i mean.. both if us were not v sure what i'd be like.. i knew a little bit about it.. he didn't even know there would be puppets. (ok so this show for those who dont know.. is like a very rude sesame street parody.) but it had us splitting our sides... haha. well. i dont have much to say.. need to sort out my schedule today and go buy some textbooks. bah. ok i'm off!

home.

2005-12-21T22:06:00.000-05:00

i home.

it's nice to be home. weird to see how some things have changed without me but it's nice. i don't know if i'll be updating since i'm home and this was mainly for people who are at home to see how i was doing. but if anyone has objections (to my break from extremely sporadic posts) comment. and i'll keep going. haha probably one post while i'm here seeing how often i update. haha. well. see you all around i'm still reachable at my old number. aren't you guys bummed about the new internet sms thing i know i am. haha. ok byebye.

airport.

2005-12-19T21:10:00.000-05:00

so im sitting at the airport. it's cold out and i'm heading home. got another hour or so to kill. travelling by yourself.. it's lonely. when you leave a bunch of people you literally live with and see so much of.. it's a bit odd to leave. but home beckons and though i am dreading the heat(already).. it's time to go home. it's high time. the ppl in my dorm have been messing up the toilets and i want nothing more than to just.. have my own toilet. haha. oh well. and i miss home too. sorta. :)

ok i just thought i'd give a heads up to everyone! i'm on my way home! see you all soon.

white christmas

2005-12-10T18:15:00.000-05:00

finals are here. busy times.. but at the same time, lots of rest because it's study break. it's nice to lie in bed all morning and look out the window at the falling snow. ok that was only yesterday. but it was beautiful. not so beautiful when you're huddled together and walking slowly down the street so you don't slip, but beautiful nonetheless. it's pretty here.

it's time to go home. a break would be nice. my own bed my own toilet(!) family who you can just be crazy all the time around and friends. not that i sdont have friends here but i miss you guys.

last night we had a christmas party. snow out and singing christmas carols inside where it's warm. priceless. sometimes i feel like i'm in a tv show. it's amazing. but not quite, cos it's real. and not everything is flowers and sunshine, or happy endings. real people slip and fall every once in awhile. let's get home before i land hard on my ass. :)

merry christmas y'all. it's finally a white christmas. it's amazing.

walking in memphis.

2005-12-01T20:23:00.000-05:00

put on my blue suede shoes
and i boarded the plane
touched down in the land of the Delta Blues...

...in the middle of the pouring rain

YOWZA!

2005-11-28T20:50:00.000-05:00

I WANNA WISH YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS..

haha i like. i'm so happy that christmas is round the corner. i spend all year waiting for christmas to come it's wonderful. :)

i had a good time in boston..but i feel sick thinking about the amount of money i spent. granted it was for stuff i needed to keep warm so i don't come home as a block of ice and wait to thaw, but still i don't think i've EVER spent so much money in a period of two days. no more buying of anything anymore. nothing! but maybe food. haha.

so it snowed on thanksgiving day! well. a little anyway. heh but the night/morning i was talking to smelly, umm. tuesday night/wednesday morning? it snowed. at 3 in the morning. i went downstairs in my shorts and t-shirt and slippers to see it. haha i know it would have been v swakoo but i mean come on.. the FIRST snowfall! it wasn't a long one. it lasted half an hour. but the snowflakes were SO big. heh. it made me happy. at 3 in the morning. :) i stayed out there for all of ONE minute. haha. i mean it WAS cold. haha. but nice. i remember when i was a kid we put up a wishlist on our christmas tree. one of the things i wished for was a white christmas. in singapore. haha. cute kid. now i know it won't ever, and if it does it would be extremely environmentally-worrying. but it's cool i guess. who's coming skiing w me next christmas? :)

so here's me and my boston-buddies. haha we're all a bit loopy. think long day of shopping and a day-end photoshoot. haha.

ok so that's enough. haha ok you can't actually see how long my hair is getting at the back. but it's LONG. take my word for it. long for me anyway. ok. i'm gone. hope everyone's doing ok.

thanksgiving

2005-11-22T23:12:00.000-05:00

so tetris is finally over and thanksgiving break is here. it's fantastic. i've got about 2 million things i can thank God for it's so amazing. it's going to start snowing soon i think. it's cold. but i'm happy. on to the next computer science project! but first, HOLIDAY! haha. i love holidays. don't you too? i think most of the exams in singapore are ending soon, hope things are alright with you guys. take care yeap? :)

oh my i think i'm going to sink from pleasure from the thought that tmr i'm going to have real chinese food. my first for a REALLY long time i'm going to dream of it tonight. ok byebye.

give thanks!

killing me softly.

2005-11-18T01:25:00.000-05:00

die. tetris. die.

oh happy day.

2005-11-17T00:01:00.000-05:00

i think computer science is slowly breaking me down mentally. it's midnight. and i'm still in the lab. where i have been for the past 4 days. i will never play tetris again.

don't wake me i plan on sleeping in...

why do they call it the SunLab when it's not sunny. it doesn't even have one window. plus there's no sun at midnight anyway.

when you're stuck in a cloud

2005-11-11T17:15:00.000-05:00

WOOOOZA. haha. so the weekend's here. again. and suddenly i'm left wondering, where in the world did my week go. or my month. or my year. heh. but well, nice to be free (even for a few hours before i have to chiong comp sci.) hey thanks for the brands essence! though i don't actually drink it and i bet even if i did i wouldn't like it. i know it smells ghastly. but i get the point of it. and it's nice to know i haven't really dropped off the singapore map. thanks ed.. and i know my mom's right it's just one of those tiffs that i know will happen cos it's valid, but still upsets me. oh well. anyhoo i think now that's blown over.. and i have to go buy warm clothes. it's SO cold today and i was severely under-dressed. i think my head almost froze. haha so i decided to come home and layer up before heading out again. haha.

i was walking somewhere just now and the moment was just right. how the light hit the red leaves on the trees and above the moon had already risen in the blue sky. it's times like these when i take time to look around me that i well, remember why i chose to study in new england. fall is just so breath-takingly beautiful. that it even makes up for the CRAZY(and when i say crazy i mean CRAZY) new england weather. one day rain one day shine one day 20 deg the next 3 deg. it's nuts. but nuttily beautiful. i feel sad for those who live their lives and nv see it this beautiful. but i also know not everyone's as fortunate as me and i give thanks.

so i'm going to go to boston for thanksgiving. a friend's family friend is going to let us stay in a 2 bedroom apt for the week.. he's in real estate. how sweet is that, tell me. woah.. haha PLUS he'll come up and get us! from here so we don't have to squeeze with the ppl leaving for home and holidays. haha. thanksgiving indeed huh.

you know when it comes to being lucky, we always believe we have the worst luck. like murphy's law, whatever it always comes back to the worst possible situation ever. but it's not so bad huh. haha. :)