i still haven't found what i'm looking for...

it pains me a little (see: a decent amount) that i will likely not be able to see U2 in concert. though i have a ticket. or that i won't get to have my own car and take random day trips. or that i won't have my own place. or get to scrounge around for cheap furniture.

it's the little things. the weird little bits that in the larger scheme of things are rather, well, inconsequential.

i also can't wait till i next sink my teeth into a nice fat chili crab. or have my own bathroom. or see my dogs.

it's still the weird little things.

and the in between is even weirder. but hey transitions are supposed to be. and i'm starting to think that this long drawn out transition is the best worst thing that's ever happened to me.

weather report: groggy, with scattered resilience

see you soon, my unexpected friend. what a blast, huh. i now sit alone on this futon. you know, it's really really quiet without the lawn mower noises. it's 11pm and I'm ready for bed. I might actually go to the far away place.

In other news, I just came back from a whirlwind weekend in nyc. Lots of meeting friends and making new friends. I had a wonderful time and it was totally worth the money. One less thing to regret now. (in case I don't make it back to hang out with a bunch of friends doing almost nothing of practical use in nyc for awhile.) So things are still up in the air. I'm still working my butt off (literally) in retail and looking for something a little more cushy, a little more money, and a little more certainty. I've realised recently that pretty much everything that I've wanted in life, if I tried hard enough.. or even if I just put in a little effort, I got it. Not this time I guess. It's taking awhile and I'm an impatient person with real needs for a plan. No plan. Free fall. Let's see where we land. Let's see where in the world God lands me.

Head up. Chin up. Forward march.

Peace out, friends.