just me. and my music.

i bought a poster. i bought a poster of solitude. loneliness in jardin de versailles. i wonder why. it's just so.. painfully beautiful. somehow. i've always wondered if i were be it, obsessed about the idea of loneliness. that's not true. but i'm just drawn to it. remember that picture in australia with the abandoned chair that was bathed in the afternoon light that i just loved? why. remember that song in riverdance with the solitary bagpipe? i love that too. why. it's funny how some things just... sort of rell you in like a fish on a hook. funny huh.

just me, and my music. i don't need anything else sometimes.

but even i can recognise a lie. what i need, more than anyone on this earth could give.

i tried to escape. but i couldn't leave. me and my music. i kick myself in the head, but i still know that i can't leave it behind. somehow. i don't know why.

there are so many things i just don't know. but i guess some things are just.. sort of me. just me. and it's funny how you never know what you're about you don't know why you do the certain things you do.. you just do it. and most of the time, it just feels right. feelings lie too, you know. and they just love to misrepresent situations. they lie and thieve and rob you everything you have. feelings, emotions, blah blah blah.

when can you tell when something's real? or does one just go through life, going through the motions?