you've got a fast car, is it fast enough so we can fly away?

So in a surprising turn of events, I am left clinging on to the US by a strand. I have an interview on Tuesday. After wrestling so long back and forth about what I want and where God is calling me, and what difficult directions friends and family and pushing and pulling me in... I don't know how I feel about it. It's not the dream job, and I don't even know if I fit well into it. But I got to go into that interview wanting it. (besides, anyone who knows me knows that I have no dream job. because I have no dreams. I don't think being a rock star counts... because there are dreams and then there are dreams.)

Where do you go, what do you think, when everything just seems like... rojak?

Confusion is nothing new. So I guess I'm left here.. waiting for ma laundry, wanting to sleep. trying to read white papers but really not getting a hold of anything. Did I mention that I had a kickass day? The Newport Jazz Festival was the bomb. and everyone was so amazing. Hiromi = awesome. just sayin. Watching her makes me feel like laughing and crying all at once. Also 23-going-on-24 year old Esperanza Spalding (who btdubs became a professor at Berklee at 20) was so cool. Plus the old school jazz band Branford Marsalis quartet. Makes for a wonderful day of fun- (and sun-) filled entertainment. And I love fun in the sun. Especially after working an almost 40-hour work week at the butcher shop (which I am officially done with too). If I was a smidgen talented, I'd do the whole starving artist thing. Aye. Instead I'm going to go look at pharmaceutical numbers now.

Hey, but a plan for my career and life is forming. Slowly. Let's see what idea incubation and forced dreaming begets.